One Last Cup | The Poison’s Potential

caffeine poison

Caffeine is, originally, a pesticide.

That’s our best conclusion, at least. It matches all the criteria. We know it’s a bitter-tasting chemical concentrated in the bodies and leaves of a select few plants. We know that when insects and small animals consume caffeine, it overloads their nervous and digestive systems – severely impacting memory, motor functioning, and gut enzymes. We know that it is fatally toxic to many animals, even in relatively small doses compared to their body weight. And we can observe that this relationship existed long, long before humans did, as a means of self-preservation for the plant.

But interestingly enough: the only animals that are not negatively affected by caffeine? Pollinators.

While caffeine kills many insects outright, it robustly improves bees’ memory and motor functions. And, of course, humans, too. But it seems that the two animals most responsible for the proliferation of these unique plants are, in a way, rewarded for their efforts to continue the species. When the bees go for pollen, they quickly remember the coffee plants and return frequently. The plant didn’t just evolve an ability to repel predators – it evolved an ability to attract dedicated partners. That’s uncommon in nature, to say the least.

Our brains and nervous systems are so complex – so rich in chemical receptors – we can enjoy as an afternoon pick-me-up, that which is a lethal dose of speed for most of the animal kingdom. To think that this chemical, which existed only as a poison for so much of its time on earth, was directly responsible for the flourishing of civilization and thought? It boggles my mind.

And it’s only in light of this fundamental truth about caffeine that I can genuinely appreciate it. Too little, and I miss out on the remarkable ability of the human brain to turn poison into potential. Too much, and it becomes poison, once again.

It is a biological privilege to put this molecule to use, to experience the sharpening of the senses and memory brought on by the ingestion of caffeine. And it is a perversion to overuse this privilege – proven true by the gradual slipping away and diminishing marginal returns of these positive effects. Ultimately, we are punished with addiction and anxiety for our overindulgence in this magic molecule and forced to reset.

Moral of the story? Respect the plant. Respect the brew. Respect yourself.

Stale Beans | The Decay of Caffeine Culture

caffeine

Four coffee shops.

Today, I went to four coffee shops, searching for a booth with an outlet: an old diner, a slick espresso bar, a bagel shop, and a chain. And none of them had a table with an outlet nearby. Nowhere to hunker down and recharge – nowhere to write. I understand that COVID has changed things. But these coffee shops weren’t built without outlets, were they?

It should be clear, by this point, I have a bit of a bone to pick with caffeine culture – despite my complicity. After all, I do love my morning coffee. I can even be a snob about it, at my worst. But it occupies too great a place in my life, in my heart, in my routine, to entertain any abstinence. My morning feels incomplete without it. The news, my robe, a slice of toast – are as incomplete without coffee as the morning is without sunrise. I’ll always have one cup, each day. But I’m starting to question cups number two, three, and four. And I’m beginning to wonder: is anyone else having this much trouble sleeping?

I mean: let’s look at the caffeine molecule itself. For one, it’s got an extremely long half-life, even for a stimulant, which means that it takes, on average, a full 5 hours for healthy humans to metabolize half of the caffeine in their system. But tolerance varies widely from person to person, more than it does for other drugs. Some people drink all day, metabolizing their caffeine in as quickly as 2 hours. Some people are extremely sensitive, feeling the effects of their morning cup for as long as nine hours.

So – bearing that in mind – tell me: when’s the last time you saw anything resembling “dosage” information on your bag of coffee? It’s a drug – why don’t they list caffeine content? Or at least a range of how many milligrams might be in your cup, depending on brew strength? Maybe it’s easier to form a habit when you’re not keeping tabs. Maybe there’s a lot of money to be made off the enthusiastically uninformed. Or maybe, there’s nothing all that wrong with being addicted to something cheap, plentiful, and harmless in normal doses.

But the notion of what’s “normal” is changing. I look around, and everywhere, caffeine culture is changing. The culture of ideas that existed in those old Arabian qahveh khaneh? And the intellectual communities that coalesced around the Viennese coffee houses? It’s not like I had any firsthand experience… But, tell me: do you see anything resembling a “School of the Wise” or “Penny University?”

I don’t.

I don’t even see people talk to each other for the most part. I worked in a drive-thru coffee shop as a teenager, and what I saw there still scares me. Single-serve beverages, with as many calories as a thanksgiving dinner, and as much caffeine as a pot of coffee. The same people, ordering them every day, drawn back not by a sense of community or social enthusiasm, but by the substance, alone.

This miracle drug, one of the great gifts of our natural world, is being abused on a global scale. We’ve lost respect for the power of this molecule to the point where we’re allowing it to alter our humanity on a systemic level.

As much as I love my coffee, I can’t ignore the problems posed by the multibillion-dollar global behemoth that is the caffeine industry. This is, at the root, a group of business interests upon which most consumers – most people – are dependent. A dependency which is, at best, ignored – and at worst, seen as one of many necessary evils inherent in a capitalist system. It’s won wars, birthed new economies, and the industrial revolution could not have been possible without it. But this dependency is no longer just a personal addiction to a favorite beverage. It’s a collective, worldwide reliance on a substance to keep up with the pace demanded by our ultra-competitive, (frequently) zero-sum global economy. We’re addicted to staying awake because everyone around us is, too. We have a chemically-altered baseline; that an “awake” human is a caffeinated one.

Our professional lives demand, at once, that we show up for the day both well-rested and out of our minds on stimulants. We wake up tired, consume more and more to stave off withdrawal, stay wired well past our bedtime, sleep terribly, rinse and repeat. It’s unsustainable – in many, many ways. Modest market predictions estimate at least a 10% growth in the coffee industry alone over the next decade. But as the climate warms, the plant becomes harder to grow. The extreme elevations needed for growing the plant aren’t as cold anymore, the soil worsens, and the available, farmable land shrinks.

And there will be a point, in the near future, where this whole system catches fusion. Where demand for caffeine vastly exceeds supply. Thinking back to the line outside the La Guardia Starbucks, I’m picturing a zombie-apocalypse scenario… I’ll be back – right after I finish stocking my bunker with frozen sacks of espresso beans.

Something’s Brewing | Caffeine, Withdrawal, and Sleep Deprivation

caffeine

It was December 26. A Sunday. That weird, quiet day after Christmas where nothing happens, and everyone sleeps in.

I awoke in a fog, having suffered through more absolutely wretched sleep. It was 1:13 PM – a third consecutive night of tossing and turning. Miserably, shamefully, I dragged myself downstairs – then back upstairs, where I’d left my phone. Then back downstairs, when I realized midway I’d forgotten to brush my teeth. Then back upstairs, then back downstairs – my head and back screaming at me all the while – and realized I’d forgotten my keys.

I sat down on the stairs. What was happening to me? It’d been years since I woke up that late. Usually, I’m up much earlier for work. And usually, I have my first cup of coffee within the first 10 minutes of…

Oh, right. I’m going through the first stages of withdrawal.

A long run, followed by one big cup of the good stuff, and I was feeling a little more like myself again. But since this occurred during my series on caffeine, I have to consider the implications. Perhaps, once again, I’ve been drinking too much coffee.

There really aren’t any significant adverse health effects associated with long-term caffeine useMost clinicians agree that, on the whole, it’s a generally beneficial thing for those who use it. It’s one of the most familiar, well-studied drugs in existence. And the overdose threshold is ridiculously high – somewhere around the equivalent of 400 cups of coffee in 24 hours. So there’s a low potential for abuse. But there are plenty of minor issues associated with long-term high-dose caffeine use (digestive discomfort, TMJ pain, anxiety, to name a few), which all tend to compound and worsen over time. Not to mention, it absolutely forms a dependence – although withdrawal symptoms are typically mild and last no longer than a week. But the most dangerous and well-known side effect is, of course, sleep deprivation.

Here are some statistics on the subject: a recent annual poll by the American Sleep Association discovered that almost half of all Americans say they feel sleepy during the day three or more days of the week. And 35.2% of all adults in the US report sleeping less than 7 hours every week. When filtering out only working adults, 32.6% sleep only six or fewer hours a week – up from 28.4% in 2008.

That length of sleep deprivation produces impairment equivalent to a blood alcohol content of 0.05%. By the time you hit 24 hours, it’s 0.10% – the equivalent of three strong drinks, for most. Not to mention, the effects compound if one is both sleepy and drinking. And studies conducted by the University of Buffalo Research Institute on Addictions estimates that up to 15% of workers in the United States drink alcohol at least once during the workday.

That’s crazy! At any given time, a full third of the working population is so tired that they’re basically drunk. In the same survey, 1 of 25 adults surveyed reported falling asleep at the wheel in the last 30 days.

Why is this happening? Why, in a world where technology is supposed to be saving us time, are we left with so little for our most essential function? Why, in an economy where chemical stimulants are cheap and abundant, are we dragging ourselves along?

There is an unseen, undiscussed pandemic: persistent, global sleep deprivation.

I’m nodding off as I type this.

Maybe this time, I’ll take a nap instead of another cup.

A Tale of Two Plants: The Human History of Caffeine

caffeine

According to Chinese legend: the Chinese emperor Shennong, thought to have reigned around 3000 BC, noticed some nearby leaves had inadvertently fallen into his boiling water. Drawn in by the fragrant smell, he did not toss out the water. The result was a soothing, stimulating, tasty, refreshing beverage: Tea.

At an unknown time, in Ethiopia: legend has it that a goat herder named Kaldi first discovered the energizing properties of Coffee after noticing his goats became hyperactive from eating berries growing on a nearby tree. The abbot at a nearby Sufi monastery caught wind, and was so impressed by this discovery that he shared it with the other monks, who began cultivating the plant as a way to stay alert through the long hours of evening prayer. A few years later, Coffee spread beyond Ethiopia and slowly grew in popularity as more people began to enjoy this energizing drink.

While the accuracy of these foundational myths is undoubtedly subject to question – they remain among our oldest, most enduring accounts of the discovery and use of caffeine.

However, the earliest written evidence of caffeine use and coffee drinking and knowledge of the coffee plant appears in the mid-fifteenth century, in the records of those Sufi monasteries of Yemen in southern Arabia. From there, Coffee spread to Egypt and North Africa, and by the 16th century, it was common throughout the Middle East – which possessed an ideal climate for cultivating the plant. While Arabians enjoyed Coffee in the home, they consumed it far more frequently in their many public coffee houses — called qahveh khaneh — which proliferated across the region. The popularity of these first coffee houses was unprecedented in human history, and Arabians frequented them for all kinds of social, intellectual, and other activities.

Here, patrons didn’t just drink Coffee and engage in conversation. They listened to music, watched performers, played chess kept current on the news, and most importantly: theorized the elementary mathematics of algebra – all in a state of heightened focus and stimulation. Coffee houses quickly became critical centers for exchanging information and were often referred to as “Schools of the Wise.”

Meanwhile, in the latter half of the 16th century, tea began to make its way over from China to Europe via Portuguese traders living in the East who spoke of strange, leafy invigorating beverages. However, it was the Dutch, with their massive shipping capabilities, who commandeered Portuguese trade routes to bring tea to mainland Europe. There, it exploded in popularity – especially in the British Isles, who traded most frequently with the Dutch and admired their fashionable new beverage.

Around this same time, coffee drinking spread from the Middle East to the lower half of Europe: Italy, the Swiss Alps, and Vienna. Thousands of pilgrims spoke of the “wine of Araby.” Again, the Dutch masters of trade stepped in to supply Southern Europe with their Coffee, just as they had supplied Northern Europe with their tea.

It was here, in this confluence of beverages, that caffeine culture began to take recognizable shape. With contrivances like the Viennese coffee house: a cosmopolitan institution of a special kind. A democratic club, open to all, for the cheap price of a cup. The European analog of the Arabic qahveh khaneh, where patrons enjoyed Coffee, tea, pastries, newspapers, music, writing – the gamut of human intellectual activity and gastronomy – in fashionable digs with marble tabletops, No 14. Thonet chairs, and ornately historical interior designs. This cafe setting became the default format across all of Europe (a design upon which little improvement was possible, as many modern cafes still have Viennese trappings and traditions!)

In any case, the Eastern “Schools of the Wise” became Western “Penny Universities,” which quickly spread to every corner of Europe, and subsequently, the New World of America.

In those heady mid-1600s, the British began shipping Coffee and tea to a new colony called New Amsterdam, which was soon afterward renamed “New York City.” And while cafe establishments proliferated there, tea continued to be the preferred beverage served in New World coffee houses. That is, until 1773… Many of us remember what comes next. Colonists revolted against the heavy taxes imposed by King George III on their favorite beverage. The Boston Tea Party – a symbolic mass destruction of imported, taxed tea – would forever cement the American preference for Coffee.

But really – that’s just where the story begins. Humanity was, at the same time, discovering new sources of energy. New ways of thinking. New mathematics, new sciences, new inventions. Looking down the barrel of not just the American revolution, but the industrial revolution. And it’s hardly a coincidence that these stimulating substances began to spread at the same rate as factories.

Next time, we’ll explore how these rudimentary caffeine cultures came together to form the behemoth we know it as today. How caffeination, and the dependence we developed, slowly crept across the world – becoming our default state of existence – and the potential implications of a sleep-deprived, always-on humanity.

Inside Job: The Human Body and Caffeine

coffee caffeine

If you’re reading this in the morning (I’m writing it in the morning, at least) then you’re probably already craving a cup of your favorite caffeinated beverage. But have you ever thought about exactly how that Caffeine works? How it functions inside your body? How it makes it to your brain?

We all have some idea of what Caffeine is. A drug. A chemical. The single most popular, widely-consumed psychotropic substance on the planet. Found naturally in the seeds, or leaves, of over sixty plants, notably coffee beans, tea leaves, and cocoa beans. It’s also an additive to many everyday products, including analgesics, cold medications, mouthwashes, and lotions. In the proper dosage, it drastically improves endurance, concentration, and reaction time. In improper dosage, provoking panic, anxiety, tremors, and dehydration.

But first, let me explain what Caffeine is, chemically: a Central Nervous Stimulant, of the Methylxanthine family of drugs, with a chemical formula of C8H10N4O2. It’s a psychoactive substance in the same way as THC, LSD, and all those other naughty three-letter words. But far less dramatic in its effects on perception and consciousness. Nevertheless: a drug which acts on both body and mind.

Like many psychotropics, it’s an alkaloid — one of many nitrogenous organic compounds, often of plant origin, which have pronounced physiological actions in the brains and bodies of humans. And while Caffeine, in particular, is usually consumed in beverage form – entering the bloodstream through the stomach lining, and crossing the blood-brain barrier to work on our receptors – pure Caffeine (in powder or pill form) can also be taken as a more powerful means of staying alert and focused – frequently as a way to legally improve athletic performance.

The physical effects come on quickly, and disappear with a similar rapidity. The palpable stimulation – its most noticeable psychoactive characteristic – comes from its ability to block the actions of adenosine in the brain. Adenosine, a chemical that transmits a “slow down” message from receptors to the central nervous system, is a compound that acts as a neuromodulator in the brain. It regulates the excitability of neurons controlling vital body functions and affects sleep, memory, learning, and mood. And by slowing down the nervous system, adenosine produces physical and mental lethargy, thus making it difficult for the body and brain to perform under normal conditions.

Caffeine removes this effect and results in the “lift” that users feel. In other words, caffeine blocks (or “antagonizes”) the receptors that recognize adenosine, preventing them from activating. This prevents or relieves the drowsiness and other symptoms of withdrawal from starting, effectively canceling them out. If a person is currently experiencing the effects of withdrawal (e.g., feelings of drowsiness), then only consumption of more Caffeine will relieve or prevent those symptoms from occurring.

And, if adenosine receptors are blocked, scientists have observed that the functions of other neurotransmitters also change. Glutamate and dopamine functioning, in particular, are enhanced as a result. Many pharmacologists believe that the adenosine modulation described above, along with the tertiary effects on dopamine and glutamate, combine to create the whole picture: the unmistakable excitement, increased energy, and focus promised by a cup of coffee.

Now that you know how it works – time for another cup?

Next time, I’ll discuss the long, varied, fascinating, and ultimately deeply-human story of how we co-evolved with this chemical, and the unexpected ways it’s changed the world we live in.

Walk on the Wired Side: A Closer Look at Caffeine

caffeine

It’s 7 AM, on a Saturday, and I’m back at La Guardia International.

I don’t like crowds, I don’t like mornings, and I hate flying. But I always, without much exception, try to book the early flight. Nobody’s around. It’s relatively quiet. The TSA agents are too sleepy to harass you (or your bags.) And for the most part, I avoid my least favorite aspect of any airport: waiting in line.

I see one line, in particular, and a chill runs down my spine. It’s long – snaking up, up, and away, around the corner. You can’t see where it ends… but I know. I know those gaunt faces. The hunched backs. Dead eyes – not a single one looking up. I’ve seen better-looking lines at the methadone clinic down the street than the one outside an airport Starbucks.

No judgment implied, of course. I’m a junkie, too. I’d already had a cup at home, and the Yeti mug in my hand was the only thing keeping me tied to the mast. But at home, when I wake up: there’s no line – nothing standing between the edge of my bed and my 12-cup Cuisinart. I hit my alarm clock, hobble to the counter, and grind the beans. And until that sweet, black gold is in my cup – it’s the only thing on my mind.

Caffeine is, undoubtedly, a drug. From year to year, some 90% of the human species regularly ingest it – making it the most widespread, frequently-used psychoactive substance in the world. It’s the only one corporations provide to their employees at no cost. It’s the only one that we give to children. Caffeine culture is so pervasive: we turn blind eyes to the fact that caffeination – an altered state – has mostly replaced baseline, sober consciousness in humans since the onset of the Industrial Revolution. It just happens to be an altered state that most of us share, rendering its effects invisible.

A significant consequence of its ubiquity it that we nearly never talk about caffeine. We rarely question its cultural status – the dogma of perpetual stimulation – and blithely ignore the cycle of dependence in which we’re caught. But then again, if you’re addicted to something relatively cheap, ubiquitously available, and scientifically proven to have net health benefits… is it really an issue?

That’s the question I plan to explore in this short series on caffeine, the human body, and culture. I love coffee. I’m ambivalent about tea. And I’d rather eat batteries than suffer through the taste of a 5-Hour Energy… But I need caffeine, regardless of the vehicle. After all: I’m a writer – a creative with a job to do. Naturally prone to distraction and disinclined towards the sort of focused, linear, efficient cognitive processing demanded by the working world at large. Demanded by my former occupation as an accountant for four exhausting years.

Look at me, already rambling—time for another cup.

I’m in a new line of work now, which has me re-thinking my relationship with the chemical that I need in order to get things done. In the next few posts of my series on caffeine; I’ll explain how the molecule actually functions inside the body, expose how it helped Capitalism conquer the night, explore the unique phenomenon of being addicted to a good and plentiful thing, and share my thoughts on the potential consequences of an always-on humanity.

Drink up, folks.